Joseph Capozza
he/him/his

Get to Know Joseph

As a child, I only ever wanted to be helpful. And in the absence of any expert knowledge, I focused on building my personality. My goal was to be calm, compassionate, curious, and connected to the people around me. If ever I felt frightened, hateful, or lonely, I condemned myself: The thought, “you shouldn’t feel this way” echoed in my mind. I believed that I needed to abandon discomforting emotions to be the person I wanted to be.

This mentality persisted, and I can understand why. I saw people uplifted and empowered in my presence: I was making a positive difference. But over time, I grew tired. Feelings of resentment built up for as long as my thoughts and feelings were ignored. I hated this care-taker part of me - I wanted to speak out about it, but it silenced me. So I withdrew from relationships, hoping I could protect others from the burden I carried (obviously). In that time, I searched for ways to renew my energy, but I couldn’t fathom what exactly I needed. I was stuck.

It’s been years since, and through my own experience of therapy, and other incredibly meaningful relationships, I’ve come to appreciate what was happening. I understand how overwhelming it felt to experience fear, anger or sadness. These emotions were unacceptable; expressing them risked being belittled, disregarded, or abandoned by the people around me. So I adapted. By being helpful, I remained close to others, while avoiding the total collapse brought about by these discomforting emotions. 

Healing for me has been something of a return to form. By turning towards the parts of me that felt frightened, hateful, and lonely with curiosity, I’ve discovered what it is I always needed - a calm, compassionate presence to show me that I can tolerate that discomfort. I continue to appreciate those parts that helped me overcome discomfort, and I am happy to relieve them of their duties. They’ve served their purpose, and by relinquishing them of their extreme role, I now get to choose how I react to discomforting situations. I hope that I can offer that same support to the people I work with. If you’re willing to be curious about the things that are weighing on you, I’m confident that we’ll find what you need to move forward, and in doing so provide you the resources you need to live more confidently and comfortably.